Download Article

Download Article

Being a good wingman is all about helping your buddy — the leader for the nighttime out — "engage the target" they have in their sights at the party, bar, club, or other venue. Whatsoever your reason for winging for your friend, your job is to avert stealing the spotlight and help your friend succeed with the person they want, all without calling also much attention to yourself. Do your job well, and your buddy will owe yous big-time when it'southward their turn to be your wingman.

  1. ane

    Wing merely for people who are roughly at your level. Don't try to fly for someone who is significantly less appealing than you. These are harsh words, but they are true. Y'all and your friend should be pretty similar in terms of your bewitchery, your outgoing nature, and your full general appeal. Otherwise, the people you meet are probable to latch on to you, and your buddy will feel fifty-fifty worse.[ane]

    • This doesn't mean that your friend can't appeal to people only because they're less bonny than you lot. But if they also lack charisma and flirting skills, while you lot're a smooth operator, and then you won't have much luck.

  2. two

    Requite your leader first option of people. That's what the wingman is for, right? If you're winging, information technology'due south either because y'all owe your friend i, considering yous're not unmarried, or simply because yous want your friend to have a good time. That means you tin can't switch roles and accept over engaging the person that your friend has their center on.[2]

    • Acquire how to read cues to tell which person your friend wants. You might even want to designate hand, middle, or exact signals beforehand.

    Ad

  3. 3

    Let your friend accept the lead. When you lot come up to a group, get in and so they notice your friend first. Stand a bit behind and to the side of your leader — literally positioning yourself like a wing. Also try to replicate the leader's attitude and trunk language — if they're going for "super-friendly" or "super-arctic," follow accommodate.

    • You don't accept to look like a total dud during this procedure, of grade — don't make it seem like you're hiding/lurking/cowering behind your buddy. Think of yourself as the Robin to their Batman.[3]

  4. 4

    Don't initiate the conversation yourself. Let your friend make the introductions and start talking with the people, while you slowly make your way into the conversation. Otherwise, information technology won't be clear who'south in charge. Call up that Batman always talks earlier Robin.

    • If in that location is just one person, you tin permit your friend talk to them first and join in later.
    • If there are two people, give your leader a few minutes to warm up to both of them before you bring together in.[iv]

  5. 5

    Keep the target's friend decorated while your leader works. For the rest of the night, occupying the main target'south friend(s) is your primary goal. If it's a group of 2, spend your time focusing on the secondary person by distracting and keeping them busy. Try to pay as little attention as possible to the primary person, even if they seem interested in you.[5]

    • It's important that, one time you figure out which person your friend wants, you stick to the other person from the outset. If you try to switch off midway through, your targets will get confused.

    Advertizing

  1. 1

    Provide interference if necessary. Think of yourself as office friend, role bodyguard. If other people come your way to horn in on the object of your friend'southward eye, it's your job to become them out of the way without looking similar a wiggle. The more attractive and appealing the person of your friend's advances is, the more than y'all must exist on the lookout for interlopers.[6]

    • Stave off interlopers by distracting them, getting in their way, or subtly annoying them until they fizz off.

  2. 2

    Speak upward and shut up at the correct times. You lot should brand the person group laugh here and there, reveal a bit about yourself, and go on the conversation flowing, but you lot shouldn't talk so much that you terminate up stealing the prove. Your friend should exist the ane who does more of the talking, and yous should bail them out when at that place'southward an bad-mannered silence or when you tin can contribute something that makes your friend expect good.[vii]

    • Don't interrupt your friend when they're talking unless you actually have something to add. Otherwise, you'll make your friend expect like a chump.
    • If it does get a little quiet, don't say "Now this is awkward..." Merely speak upwardly and get the ball rolling again.

  3. 3

    Don't become distracted. Maybe the most beautiful gal or guy yous've ever seen simply rolled in. Maybe your favorite squad has gone into overtime with their biggest rival. Maybe your brother called, request for a favor. That'south all well and good, but not this night, if you want to be a good wingman.[eight]

    • You need laser focus on the job at manus — to aid your friend go abode with, or at least to go the number of, the person they're interested in.
    • Tell yourself that y'all're doing your friend a favor, and that you'll get your turn another 24-hour interval.

  4. four

    Don't become too intoxicated to be useful. This should go without maxim, but this is a fault wingmen are prone to making. And then what if you're stuck talking to someone you don't really care virtually? If you drinkable too much, you volition wait like a fool and brand your friend wait like a fool by association. And who wants to go domicile with a fool?[ix]

    • Stride yourself. Unless you're both the designated wingman and designated driver, it's fine to drinkable plenty to keep near the pace of the group. But telephone call it a night if you start to lose focus.

  5. 5

    Stay in it for the long haul. Getting tired? Wanting to go home to play video games? Too bad. This night is non your night to make decisions. Unless you really accept a pressing reason to go abode or are having a particularly horrible time, yous have to grin and deport it.[10]

    • As presently as you say you have to get home, the spell is over, and you will accept ruined your friend's chances if they haven't come close to closing the deal.
    • If you really need to exit, requite your friend some advance notice — peradventure even past text — and then they can come up with a plan for staying in impact with the person.

  6. half dozen

    Mention if you're in a human relationship — somewhen. If yous approach two targets and announce that you have a male child/girlfriend within the kickoff 5 minutes, they probably won't hang around to talk to you. But if you go two hours without mentioning this fact, then you lot'll expect sketchy. Find a coincidental way to introduce your relationship status into the conversation, once you've gotten to know the person group a bit better.

    • Many leaders prefer a wingman who'southward in a relationship, since they're less likely to endeavour to steal the primary person. Also, a wingman who smoothly lets it be known that they're taken tin can assistance ensure that the main person will focus on the leader fifty-fifty more.[11]

    Advertisement

  1. one

    Make your friend await good — just not too good. You might recollect that your goal as a wingman is to tell the target that your pal is the smartest, coolest, richest, and about talented person around. However, the target will chop-chop catch on to your game if you lot go downward this path, so make your friend look adept only if y'all tin make information technology a part of the conversation naturally.[12]

    • This doesn't mean that you should put your friend downwards or make them expect similar a loser, though. That won't assist, either, and you lot'll both end upwards looking foolish.

  2. 2

    Go along your friend presentable. Let your buddy know if they spilled beer on their pants or have something stuck in their teeth. Too let them know if they're getting too boozer and looking like a fool. If y'all want your friend to succeed, then you have to keep them looking good. Even if you're occupying the target's friend, don't ignore your own friend completely; make certain they're staying on track.[xiii]

    • If you lot practice have to tell them that they spilled a drink on their shirt or that something about their appearance is off, try to be subtle nearly information technology. Setting upwards a series of signals beforehand might help.

  3. iii

    Let your friend know if they have no chance. This is another key aspect of existence a wingman. If you see them talking for a long time to someone who'southward looking effectually the room or checking their telephone every five seconds, you'll be doing your friend a favor by proverb, "Hey, I think we should move on." Though their pride may be wounded, they'll thank you for not wasting the night.

    • An hour is the maximum corporeality of fourth dimension to wait. You can oftentimes figure out whether or non the target is warming up to your friend in as little equally x to fifteen minutes — and sometimes virtually instantly.
    • Call back — a good wingman has to make the tough decisions sometimes, even if they're non pop in the moment.[14]

  4. 4

    Highlight connections betwixt your friend and the target. Look for things that the ii have in common, and try to help them find that common bond whenever yous tin. If the target mentions that they just took a trip to L.A., mention that your friend is from at that place (especially if they missed the comment). If you notice the target has a keychain with your pal's favorite NFL team's logo, tell them that your friend has season tickets. Look for opportunities to enhance the connectedness between your friend and the target.[xv]

    • You can heighten the truth a bit, but don't get in too much of a stretch. You can't force them to bond over something your friend really doesn't know all that much about.

  5. 5

    Interruption formation and depart when your work is done. At the terminate of the night, you should hang back and let your friend work their magic. If you have the target's friend to occupy, you tin can move on somewhere else first so they feel more comfortable. If you've both been talking to a solo target, become to the bathroom or order another beverage while your friend's wrapping upwardly. Get out of the manner and then your friend can get a phone number — or someone to take dwelling house.[16]

    • Make sure you take your own way of getting dwelling if necessary. You lot don't want to kill the mood past sharing their cab home.
    • If it just doesn't work out in the end, don't sweat it. You tried your best — and that's all that can be asked of a wingman.

    Advert

Add New Question

  • Question

    If I'm a wingman, can I take home the girl I'm distracting?

    Community Answer

    As long as yous do your main chore for the nighttime -- helping your friend out with their quest -- you can do whatever you delight afterward.

  • Question

    Should a wing human being/woman ever ask the person their friend likes for their phone number?

    Community Answer

    No -- this is a clear violation of the lawmaking. You don't attempt to steal your leader's target.

  • Question

    How do yous exist a wingman to someone with the same crush every bit you?

    Community Answer

    This seems similar a bad thought, as you lot'll inevitably cease upward competing against each other somewhen.

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a bulletin when this question is answered.

Submit

Advertizement

Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

References

Almost This Article

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 182,237 times.

Did this commodity assistance you lot?